


This is Forever

by Iron_Heart



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: 8x17, Crowen, F/M, Gen, MerDer, One Step Too Far, Season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-22 01:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iron_Heart/pseuds/Iron_Heart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Immediately follows 8x17, One Step Too Far. Meredith and Derek share a moment and Cristina reaches out to her friend for comfort. MerDer with Meredith/Cristina friendship. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is Forever

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

The quivering in her voice did not go unnoticed by either of them.

Meredith had run out of other things to say and ideas of how to make the situation easier for him. She'd even offer to talk but he still responded with the same monotonous "No". Her last resort was offering to make a main cause of his pain (her) go away.

"No," came his low voice once again.

To be honest, she hadn't been expecting that. Usually Derek sought out solitude when he was upset. Especially when he was upset with her. But she wasn't about to question it.

Taking her chances, she climbed onto their bed and cautiously scooted closer towards her husband. He still wasn't looking at her, but the fact that they were both still in the same house and not screaming at each other was progress in her eyes.

Becoming braver, she raised a hand to his shoulder in an effort to offer some comfort. She had to fight down the grateful sob that welled in her throat when he grasped her hand tightly with his. His unexpected sign of forgiveness meant more than words could express.

Not knowing what else to do, Meredith lowered her forehead the small distance to his shoulder and relaxed against him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered against his shoulder.

"I know," Derek replied.

And he did. He knew she hated what was happening to Lori just as much as he did.

Meredith was a lot of things, but dispassionate wasn't one of them. His wife was, in fact, one of the most compassionate people he'd ever known. Her patients were always her priority and she never gave them anything except her all. She cared. And as he'd told her before, it was one of the many things he loved her.

"I love you."

She didn't expect him to return her sentiments right now. But the urge to remind him of her feeling for him surged suddenly and she didn't feel like fighting it.

"I love you, too," his deep voice answered back. Meredith's lips twitched upward in a small smile.

She didn't say anything more in response, but kept her forehead leaning comfortingly against his shoulder and her hand stayed grasped within his own.

They remained in that same position for some unknown amount of time, but when Derek finally tilted his head down to look at Meredith, he wasn't met with the green eyes he was expecting.

Her eyes were shut and, after a moment of observation, he noted her breathing had evened out and she had managed to fall asleep.

Readying himself to wake her briefly so they could properly get into bed for the night, he was beaten to it by the shrill ringtone coming from the cell phone on Meredith's night stand.

She jerked awake from her light slumber at the sound of the high pitched notes and blindly started reaching for the phone. Without bothering to look at the caller ID, Meredith flipped the phone open quickly and pressed the receiver to her ear.

"Hello?" Her voice was groggy with sleep and the adorable, scrunched up face she was making as her eyes adjusted to the light almost brought a smile to Derek's face.

"Cristina? What-" In a split second, Meredith sent from half asleep to wide awake and she shot up into a sitting position.

"Slow down," Meredith requested with concern. "What's going on? Where are you?"

She started walking to the door and made a move to exit the bedroom before something made her pause abruptly in the doorway.

"He, he what? He WHAT? Where are you?"

The panicked edge in Meredith's voice was enough to make Derek perk up in attention.

"Yeah, yeah, of course you can. Okay….please drive safe. Bye."

Bowing her head, she solemnly closed her phone and stared blankly at the device in her hands. Meredith suddenly whipped around to face her husband who was staring curiously back at her, waiting for her to speak.

But she couldn't.

She stood there paralyzed with shock, her open mouth quivering while she struggled to form the right words.

"Meredith?" Derek asked in a worried voice as he propped himself up on his elbows. There was no denying it now that something was horribly wrong.

"Mer, what is it?"

"Cris…Cristina," she choked out.

"Is she alright?"

"No." Her voice was hollow and pained. "Owen cheated on her," she confessed in a hushed breath.

Derek was at a loss for how to respond or how to make the tears welling in her eyes cease, but he wasn't given much time to ponder it further as Meredith began to speak again.

"He just told her and she said she had to leave. She said she couldn't stay there and she was already in the car and wanted to know if she could stay here tonight. I told her she could and I hope that's okay," Meredith rambled, suddenly worried that she had just done yet another thing to upset her husband.

Cristina and Derek had rarely ever seen eye to eye but had been getting along more and more ever since the shooting. However, she knew Derek had long grown tired of hosting the Shepherd-Grey B and B for Homeless Residents over the years. There was no way she would be able to send her friend away, especially at a time like this, but Meredith was praying she hadn't just agreed to something that would start another argument.

"I couldn't just tell her no, Derek. She sounded so horrible on the phone and she has nowhere else to go. She couldn't stay there," she continued with a shaky voice.

"Of course it's okay," he insisted, sitting up. He was using the same deep, soothing tone he always did when he was trying to talk her out of a break down. Normally it would have worked a little better, but all Meredith could think about was the fact that her best friend's world was currently crumbling to the ground. "She needs you. She can stay as long as she needs."

With teary, grateful eyes, she met her husband's gaze nodded. Before she could thank him for understanding, four loud knocks boomed throughout the house.

Immediately, Derek and Meredith's eyes simultaneously darted to the baby monitor on Meredith's bedside table. Thankfully there was no indication that the sounds had woken Zola.

"The door must be locked," Meredith mumbled in explanation to Cristina's need to knock for entrance. "I should go let her in."

With the most convincing smile she could muster, Meredith turned out of the bedroom and braced herself for what was sure to be a very long night.

* * *

 

"Where is your liquor?" Cristina demanded the second the door was opened.

"Uhmm…Derek might have some scotch in the cabinet," Meredith answered, stepping out of the way so she wasn't mauled over by Cristina pushing herself into the house.

"You're telling me you don't have tequila?" she called out as she made a beeline for the kitchen.

"When was the last time I had tequila here?" Meredith followed closely behind her friend after re-locking the front door. "I haven't kept any in the house since Derek and I started trying to get pregnant. And it's not like I come home and drink now that we have Zola. I'm too tired to shower half the time; you think I have the energy to drink?"

"Where the hell are the booze?" Cristina growled, slamming a random cabinet door.

"Okay, you go sit in the living room. You're going wake up Zola if you keep that up. I'll find you something to drink and be there in a sec," she said as she shooed Cristina out of the kitchen.

No more than a minute later, Meredith entered the living room with a glass and a bottle of scotch that was still a little over a half full. Cristina was seated on the floor in front of the coffee table and leaning against the front of the couch. Plopping down next to her, Meredith placed both the bottle and tumbler directly in front of Cristina and waited for her to decide how their evening was going to progress. Settling in, she brought one of her knees to her chest and rested her chin on it while she waited patiently.

Snatching at the bottle and unscrewing the cap, Cristina poured herself a large glass of the amber liquid and proceeded to immediately drain the glass.

She performed the same act numerous times without pause. Meredith merely sat beside her, offering her silent support.

After finishing off her fifth glass, she didn't reach for the bottle right away. Instead, she gripped the tumbler with both hands and stared vacantly into the bottom of the glass.

"He slept with someone else," she let out in a strangled whisper.

"I'm so sorry, Cristina."

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

A tear managed to leak over Cristina's eyelid and rush down her cheek. This wasn't the first time Meredith had seen her cry, but she couldn't remember a time when she had ever seen her look this defeated.

When Meredith didn't have an answer, Cristina wiped angrily at her face and grabbed for the slowly emptying bottle.

* * *

 

It had been at least an hour since Meredith had left their bedroom to tend to Cristina and Derek was no closer to sleep.

After dressing into something for bed, brushing his teeth, checking on Zola twice, and staring at the ceiling for a frustrating amount of time, Derek officially conceded that sleep was just not something that was going to happen for him any time soon.

Getting up once again, he puttered about their darkened bedroom.

The room was mostly tidy, with a few shirts tossed casually next to the hamper and random baby toys and supplies scattered throughout. He tossed the clothes into the hamper and continued to wander. Derek's thoughts slipped back to the two women downstairs.

He and Yang may not be incredibly close, but he respected her. She was Meredith's person. She was Meredith's family and being her husband, that in turn made Cristina his family too.

And no one deserved the pain he knew she was experiencing right now. That type of betrayal was gut wrenching and cruel; and he knew it all too well.

Making a split second decision, he opened the door to the bedroom and crept down the hallway to check on them. As far as he could tell, no noise was coming from downstairs and he briefly wondered if they had fallen asleep.

But just as his foot left the top step of the staircase, he heard Cristina speak.

"What if it were Derek?"

He froze. Torn between giving them privacy and his curiosity to hear Meredith's answer, he internally battled over what to do.

However, his mind was made up for him as he heard Meredith begin to answer.

* * *

 

"What?"

"What if it were Derek that cheated on you?" Cristina repeated. "Would you be able to forgive him? Would you be able to move past it?"

Meredith paused and hugged her knee closer to her chest, furrowing her brow in deep thought.

"I don't know," she finally admitted quietly.

"I would want to," she decided with a small nod. "I really think I would. But…I honestly don't know if that's something I'd be able to forgive."

Cristina just nodded.

"Oh, no. Don't listen to me," Meredith hurriedly backtracked. "That's just my sleep deprived, hypothetical babbling. I'm not trying to tell you what I think you should do!"

"I never thought this would be something I'd have to worry about with Owen. Until a couple weeks ago, the possibility never even crossed my mind."

"I know," sighed Meredith sympathetically.

"I think my marriage might be over, Meredith."

Both women were silently crying by this point and all Meredith could think to do was scoot closer to her person and pull her into a tight hug.

The surprising part was that, instead of resisting, Cristina permitted herself to be comforted. Settling into Meredith's arms, she finally allowed herself to release the heart wrenching sobs she'd been holding back all night.

* * *

 

When Cristina had started to cry, Derek realized his eavesdropping had gone on long enough and he quietly padded back to bed.

That had been a good forty-five minutes ago according to the red, digital numbers of the alarm clock beside him and Meredith still wasn't back. It was agitating him to no end that he knew she was upset only a few feet away and he wasn't with her. Throwing the covers aside yet again, he decided to actually go downstairs this time.

It wasn't until he reached the bottom of the stairs that he heard any sign that anyone was still awake and it was coming from the kitchen.

Pushing the swinging door open, he saw an exhausted looking Meredith cleaning out a single glass. After placing the tumbler in the dish drain to dry and turning off the faucet, she grabbed the neck of the now almost empty bottle of scotch and turned to cross the kitchen.

As she turned, her eyes settled on his body and she jumped in surprise.

"Derek!" Her hand flew to her chest as she stifled a gasp. "You scared me," she said, catching her breath.

"I'm sorry."

She looked down at the bottle and swished around the remaining liquid. "Sorry about your scotch. Cristina drank more than I thought she would. I can get you more tomorrow."

"Don't worry about the scotch."

Derek entered the kitchen further as Meredith continued her walk to put the liquor away.

"How is she?" he finally asked, settling on a barstool. Meredith lean against the other side of the island stared back at him sadly.

"It's not good, Derek. I really don't know if they're going to make it."

"It's not an easy thing to get past," he agreed with a sorrowful tone.

"Did you?"

"Hmmm?"

"With Addison," she clarified. "Did you forgive her? I mean, I know you tired to save your marriage, but were you actually able to forgive her?"

"I have forgiven Addison," he nodded. "I did a long time ago. But Cristina's situation is different than mine and Addison's was."

"How so?" It all seemed pretty similar to her.

"I was in love with you," he answered simply.

"Oh…" She wasn't sure how else to respond.

"I wanted to try to fix my marriage. I think I did at least. But I was trying to forgive Addison for both cheating on me with Mark and then showing up in Seattle and ruining everything with us."

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "The fact that you were secretly married ruined everything with us, not just Addison showing up."

"I know that. I just resented the fact that I felt the need to stay with her when all I wanted to do was be with you," he explained with a half smile. "So like I said, it was different for me. I forgave Addison because it honestly didn't matter to me anymore because I was in love with you."

He took a moment and sighed heavily. "But you'll remember, I moved across the country because of her and Mark. If you hadn't come into the picture…I don't know. Maybe Addison and I still would have tried to make it work. But I can guarantee that neither of us would be happy. Cristina and Owen are just going to have to figure out what's going to work for them."

Meredith gave him a small nod, turning her head in an attempt to discretely brush away a stray tear.

"You'll never have to go through that, Mer," he told her determinedly.

"What?"

"I was getting worried about you two earlier and started to come down to check on you. I heard Cristina ask what you would do if it were you and me. And I'm telling you that you'll never have to go through this. There is nothing you could do or that could happen to us that would make me cheat on you." He rose from the stool and walked around the island to stand in front of her.

The tears were starting to flow steadily again, slipping down Meredith's cheeks one after the other. He gazed lovingly down at her for a moment before pulling her into a hug.

"I know that, Derek," she mumbled into his chest. "It's in our vows, right? This is forever?"

He squeezed her tighter against his body and nodded into her hair in agreement.

"This is forever."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Let me know what you think!


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